The girls were in bed and hubby and I were just about to watch a film on tv when I found this on the floor. It was face down, with a drawing of two mermaids on the other side. This side read "Today was my worst day of school ever, I had an awful time, my best friend stood me up...." Alicia's childish handwriting went on to tell about her worst day of school and I couldn't help but go back to the girls room and see if she was still awake, which she was. We talked for a while and she told me about her trouble in class... no big deal, at least for an adult, but in the eyes of a 7 year old, her problems with two of her classmates were really big. Anyway... I think I conforted her... went back to watch tv and 5 minutes later she was knocking on the door of the living room. "I just wanted to tell you you're a good person", she said, and went back to bed.
So now you know. I'm a good person.

Speaking of dad...

I was having dinner with my daughters (hubby was still at work) when Cristina said something about "mom" dying. She wasn't referring to me, she was just playing a game with her doll and it was her doll's mom that had died, so she was comforting her toy. Alicia told her the doll must be sad, because we would all be sad if a member of our family died, right mom? (she asked me). "Yes, we'd be sad, of course", I answered. "Like the time when you thought daddy was dead, remember?" And then she told me almost everything that had happened more than two years ago, when hubby had his second seizure when we were all having breakfast. She remembered I was crying, and worried -while talking on the phone with the paramedics- that he might be dead. I do remember that day, of course. I remember Alicia (who was not even 5 years old then) saying she didn't "think" dad was dead. I'm amazed that she remembers the day with so much detail after so long, and that she chose to tell me about it today. She never talks about it.

And after recreating this second seizure, she talked about the day when her father had a seizure in the park. "You know, mom, I don't understand why people would want to put a spade in his mouth". "What do you mean?", I asked. "I saw somebody trying to put a spade in his mouth, why would they want him to have sand in his mouth?". I understand why she says that. That "somebody" probably wanted to make sure my husband wouldn't bite his tongue. Something they shouldn't do, but they probably didn't know. In my daughter's mind, it made no sense to take a spade (you know, the kind children use to play with sand) and try to put it in her father's mouth. That annoyed her. And she's still scared about her father doing some kind of "somersault" backwards. (That's the way she described the first seconds of his seizure, right before he fell to the ground and started "twisting" ). Then she went on to explain how Cristina was crying and trying to get her father to wake up, how somebody found his cell phone and then they went through his address book and started asking her if she knew this or that person (trying to find out who to call until someone thought the best thing to do would be to ask her mom's name)....

And at last, she confided that she's a bit scared to go out alone with her father sometimes, in case "that" happens again. I told her I can always go along with them, if she feels that way. I really don't know what's best. I also told her his father's condition is quite controlled, and it doesn't happen so often, but still...

The thing is, I had tried to talk to her about that incident long ago, but she didn't seem too interested or just tried to avoid the subject. But today she surprised me by not only bringing it up, but actually telling me everything. Without my asking...

Childhood story

Alicia: you know, mom, you don't have to take me to school everyday, I know the way, I can go on my own...
Me: Really?... Tell me, what if you're walking to school and someone driving a car tells you he can drive you?
Alicia: I'd go in the car and tell him where the school is!
she says that smiling, believing that her answer made her pass my "test", but I tell her never to do that, that she should never accept a ride from somebody outside the family. She looks confused, in part because she doesn't understand what some bad person might possibly want from her.


I'm writing this because Buffalo has a post that made me think about something that happened in my childhood. My sister (she was 7 or 8 at the time) once accepted a ride from a man we knew. Not that he was a friend, but he was a familiar face. She started to get scared when she noticed he wasn't driving towards our house. At some point he stopped and kissed her on the lips, saying they could pretend they were boyfriend and girlfriend. My sister was too scared to react. He continued driving and when he stopped again (a traffic light I suppose) she opened the door, jumped out and started running. When she told my mother, she didn't go to the police. Instead, she found out where the man lived and paid a visit. His wife opened the door and my mother demanded to see him. something in my mom's face told her this was serious, and she invited her in but she just told her to get her husband. When he came at the door he barely had time to say anything. My mother slapped him hard in the face, told his wife what he had done and told him she was going to the police. He begged her not to do it and swore he'd never do that to her daughters or any other kid. God knows if he kept his word... but I remember my sister was proud of her mom that night. We all were, even though that's not the type of behavior my dad approves. He would have followed the rational, legal way and gone to the police, but my mom's always been the temperamental one. Do you think she did the right thing? I believe she should have slapped him AND gone to the police, but that was about 34 years ago...