Thursday, October 29


The girls were in bed and hubby and I were just about to watch a film on tv when I found this on the floor. It was face down, with a drawing of two mermaids on the other side. This side read "Today was my worst day of school ever, I had an awful time, my best friend stood me up...." Alicia's childish handwriting went on to tell about her worst day of school and I couldn't help but go back to the girls room and see if she was still awake, which she was. We talked for a while and she told me about her trouble in class... no big deal, at least for an adult, but in the eyes of a 7 year old, her problems with two of her classmates were really big. Anyway... I think I conforted her... went back to watch tv and 5 minutes later she was knocking on the door of the living room. "I just wanted to tell you you're a good person", she said, and went back to bed.
So now you know. I'm a good person.

Saturday, October 24

Speaking of dad...

I was having dinner with my daughters (hubby was still at work) when Cristina said something about "mom" dying. She wasn't referring to me, she was just playing a game with her doll and it was her doll's mom that had died, so she was comforting her toy. Alicia told her the doll must be sad, because we would all be sad if a member of our family died, right mom? (she asked me). "Yes, we'd be sad, of course", I answered. "Like the time when you thought daddy was dead, remember?" And then she told me almost everything that had happened more than two years ago, when hubby had his second seizure when we were all having breakfast. She remembered I was crying, and worried -while talking on the phone with the paramedics- that he might be dead. I do remember that day, of course. I remember Alicia (who was not even 5 years old then) saying she didn't "think" dad was dead. I'm amazed that she remembers the day with so much detail after so long, and that she chose to tell me about it today. She never talks about it.
And after recreating this second seizure, she talked about the day when her father had a seizure in the park. "You know, mom, I don't understand why people would want to put a spade in his mouth". "What do you mean?", I asked. "I saw somebody trying to put a spade in his mouth, why would they want him to have sand in his mouth?". I understand why she says that. That "somebody" probably wanted to make sure my husband wouldn't bite his tongue. Something they shouldn't do, but they probably didn't know. In my daughter's mind, it made no sense to take a spade (you know, the kind children use to play with sand) and try to put it in her father's mouth. That annoyed her. And she's still scared about her father doing some kind of "somersault" backwards. (That's the way she described the first seconds of his seizure, right before he fell to the ground and started "twisting" ). Then she went on to explain how Cristina was crying and trying to get her father to wake up, how somebody found his cell phone and then they went through his address book and started asking her if she knew this or that person (trying to find out who to call until someone thought the best thing to do would be to ask her mom's name)....
And at last, she confided that she's a bit scared to go out alone with her father sometimes, in case "that" happens again. I told her I can always go along with them, if she feels that way. I really don't know what's best. I also told her his father's condition is quite controlled, and it doesn't happen so often, but still...
The thing is, I had tried to talk to her about that incident long ago, but she didn't seem too interested or just tried to avoid the subject. But today she surprised me by not only bringing it up, but actually telling me everything. Without my asking...

Saturday, October 10

Busy... and lazy

Busier and lazier...
yesterday I had the chance to actually "teach" for the first time. It was just part of my training, and the "students" were my classroom mates. So there I was, telling them about comparatives and superlatives, how they are formed.... I used a powerpoint presentation, but I relied too much on it, because I was nervous and felt insecure, so it was easy for me to just shield behind the screen and avoid too much eye contact with the class. WRONG. Then I was told the topic I chose was too easy. I'm aware of that, my mistake. Anyway. It was a huge success for me considering that, when I was in high school I was so shy I'd rather fail than make a public presentation. I've realized it's easy to criticize a teacher, but it's so hard to be a good one!