Tuesday, September 9

Families can be complicated

I once wrote about my MIL. She's changing, I don't know if it's because she retired or what, but she's softer. Easier to deal with, more relaxed. She's been taking care of my girls and some of my nieces and nephews during august and I've caught her sometimes just sitting outside, watching the kids play, which was unthinkable, say two months ago. "Oh, I couldn't do much today, I had to watch over the children" she says, as if she needs to apologize or something. Of course, the rest of the family thinks it's great that she can actually sit down and do nothing, but to her, it must have been a struggle! And she smiles now (no kidding, it was hard to see her smile when I first met her). And more than that. I told her about my plans to study and she was so supportive. She has offered to help me with the girls during the school year. I guess it's like hubby told me: to his mother, anything that means working or studying is good.

But things are not so good on the other side of the family, mainly because I just find it increasingly difficult to get along with my brother and his wife, J. There have been two “incidents” which are way too silly to post, but I will anyway. Because my brother chooses to think they're important. Last sunday my brother had a difficult time making Pau eat his lunch when Alicia showed up eating an ice cream. Seeing that she had alredy finished luch, my mother gave her the ice cream, but Pau refused to eat when he saw it and demanded an ice cream too. Sensing trouble, I told Alicia to put it back in the fridge and wait for Pau to finish so he wouldn't see the precious ice cream but according to my brother, she just took too long to hide it. And it was her fault that Pau wouldn't eat another bite. And, after lunch, when the kids were playing Alicia had a balloon and Pau started crying because he's afraid of balloons. My brother told Alicia to hide it, but she just stared at Pau and my brother. Until I told her to hide it (sensing trouble, again), she didn't do it. Too late, again, to my brother's standards. She just didn't behave properly, she lacked empathy. I just can't relax when I'm around them anymore. J has changed, she's distant, she barely speaks to us, and I know she feels we're just not a good influence for her son. She's trying to raise the perfect kid and I find it so annoying sometimes.

3 comments:

Wayfaring Wanderer said...

Good to hear about your MIL's change in heart. I can see how not having a job anymore could help with that :)

Your brother is another story......those are very petty things to get in a tizzy over. I remember my Mom's sister was like that about her daughter when we were growing up. We always did something to hurt her feelings and her Mom (my aunt) would always get upset with us. It didn't matter what we did, there was always an issue!

Buffalo said...

Perhaps your MIL is mellowing with age.

Nuri said...

Oh well... I just don't get along with them. Some people might find it easy but for me it's still hard. He's my brother, and I used to think of his wife as a sister. But she made clear to me that her family is just Pau and my brother. I feel I've lost someone. Everything was fine until they had their kid. Now we're just growing apart every year.

Buffalo: My MIL has really softened. It's so much easier to be with than just half a year ago.