Nuri, I have to agree with some of what Buffalo said. When you soften answers to questions like "how is everything in your life," questions like those of you brother, you do yourself a great disservice.
I believe I remember some friction between you and your brother before, something about him expecting a lot from you and giving you little in return.
You sound similar to my wife, a sweet lady who would rather take a bunch of crap from someone than say a "discouraging word." Sometimes that's okay, but when you are under stress, as you certainly are, you need to level with people. Tell your brother that things are in the dumper in your world. Let him know what the problems are. Maybe--maybe--he can help. But if not, someone else that you level with might be able to.
You need support and you need people to pitch in and help you. Don't be reluctant to tell them.
Where I may disagree with Buff is on seeking medical help. I suggest being honest with people first, and see how things go. It's better to cope if you can, but if not, there is always the medical assistance route.
Easier said that done, huh? People aren't always going to say what you would like to hear........how your brother would react to you saying "Actually, you know I'm not okay, and I'm having a terrible day!" Would he be able to comfort you or would he make you feel worse. I would think that if you have a close friend to confide in that may be a better route since they may be a little more sensitive to how you are feeling. You're like me in a way, I tend to think that dumping my emotional problems on someone else is a burden - and I have to get over that from time to time. It helps tremendously when one can vent, but only to one who will listen without judgment.
3 comments:
Of course you're not okay, Nuri. You have a lot on your plate. Perhaps you should have been candid with your brother - and with others.
Maybe you need to see your doctor for some temporary help getting through this rough time.
Nuri, I have to agree with some of what Buffalo said. When you soften answers to questions like "how is everything in your life," questions like those of you brother, you do yourself a great disservice.
I believe I remember some friction between you and your brother before, something about him expecting a lot from you and giving you little in return.
You sound similar to my wife, a sweet lady who would rather take a bunch of crap from someone than say a "discouraging word." Sometimes that's okay, but when you are under stress, as you certainly are, you need to level with people. Tell your brother that things are in the dumper in your world. Let him know what the problems are. Maybe--maybe--he can help. But if not, someone else that you level with might be able to.
You need support and you need people to pitch in and help you. Don't be reluctant to tell them.
Where I may disagree with Buff is on seeking medical help. I suggest being honest with people first, and see how things go. It's better to cope if you can, but if not, there is always the medical assistance route.
Hang in, and keep us posted.
Easier said that done, huh? People aren't always going to say what you would like to hear........how your brother would react to you saying "Actually, you know I'm not okay, and I'm having a terrible day!" Would he be able to comfort you or would he make you feel worse. I would think that if you have a close friend to confide in that may be a better route since they may be a little more sensitive to how you are feeling. You're like me in a way, I tend to think that dumping my emotional problems on someone else is a burden - and I have to get over that from time to time. It helps tremendously when one can vent, but only to one who will listen without judgment.
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