Romance

Alicia (5 years old) got a present yesterday from a boy in her class named Aleix, who, according to Alicia, wants to marry her. It was a necklace, wrapped in blue paper, with her name written in childish letters. As She unwrapped it, he told her he had made it himself. She stared at the big, colorful beads and asked "Is it made of candy?" and actually bit it. Talk about spoiling a romantic moment!!

Bats in the bellfree

You won't believe this... We went to see Mystery man yesterday. After driving for almost three hours we only had to wait for 4 hours to be called in. Waiting kills me. I'm worse than a kid, I get fidgety and anxious, even if I have magazines or crosswords to entertain me. It doesn't work. Maybe it would be ok if I really believed the waiting is worthwhile but...

The thing is, Dr Mystery asked some questions to my husband about his last seizure, did his little massage, and while he worked, I tried to get more information from him. I pressed until he told us more about him, but I have the feeling he only told us tales of how wonderful he is and how he's helped people. Even a very good neurologist in France, he said, asks him for advice with patients with epilepsy. "How?? How do you help?" I asked. Well... here comes the freaky part, he uses a pendulum. What the f*¨*k?? Yes, you incredulous bunch of unbelievers (I'm in here too), the pendulum helps him know if meds are good or not. So I pressed a bit more, completely clueless as to how this is supposed to work. "Why not try it with my husband?" Ok, he said. He left the room and came back with his ehem... pendulum. A silver chain with some apparently silver stuff hanging. Try not to laugh, ok? He asked what medication he takes and, completely serious, he pronounced the name of the meds while staring at the pendulum: "KEPPRA".... voilà, it doesn't work, keppra is not good for him, according to this incredible scientific experiment. And then the other drug: "ZONEGRAN".... some seconds and the pendulum says yes, it seems to work (we're so relieved the pendulum approves). Hubby and I stared at each other throughout the whole procedure, and he had to supress his laughter. "But you don't even have the pills here??" he just managed to tell the man while grinning at me. THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, he said with his heavy French accent. The pendulum even told us when to take the pills!! Can you believe that??? All that trouble to end up with a lunatic?? Not to mention, all those years that laboratories spend on investigation, all that money, when all they need is a pendulum!!!! Oh my...
hubby is still willing to give him another chance, though. He says he may have his .... esoteric side but his massages might work... Insert BIG SIGH here.

New drug and another EEG

We went to see his epileptologist yesterday. We like him, inspite of the fact that we haven’t been able to stop seizures. He asked some questions, and then told us the best thing to do is to combine two medications. He had been taking valproat in the beginning but since it didn’t work we switched to keppra and now it will be both keppra and zonegran. In a month and half my husband needs to stay awake for a whole night and go to the hospital for an electroencephalogram to see how his brain responds to sleep deprivation and irritation. If I understood correctly, once there they’ll let him fall asleep and wake him up shortly after (how rude). So far, his brain seems perfect according to MRI, scans and such. We just don’t get why at this point in his life he has seizures and how come we follow this two month pattern... Before he had any seizures, and since he was 14 or 15, my husband remembers that he would suddenly jerk his arm without having control over it. Since this only happened once or twice a year, he hadn’t really thought it was important. The doctor did, though. He said it was a myoclonic jerk and it was clearly a sign of juvenile myoclonic epilepsy but now he’s not so sure because he explained that most (80%) JME respond well to valproat and seem to be fairly easy to control, but not his epilepsy. Maybe, just maybe, it’s another type. We’ll see... Thanks for listening. This must be a boring read. My eldest daughter was kind of scared on Sunday. When she saw her father arrive home she smiled, but she came closer to me also and took my hand...
Also, I’m sorry if I don’t comment on your blogs people, it’s kind of rude not to show up when you’re being so nice!!! I’ll do better... Today we’re going to France again to see Mystery doctor. He’s not so mysterious and not a doctor, but I still call him that ;-)

Damn pattern

I know I'm late, but I think I set myself some unrealistic standards!!
When I said I was anxious that hubby had not had a seizure in almost two months it's because so far, his condition seems to follow this pattern. In a way we were both happy that he seemed to be doing fine but at the same time, we knew we wouldn't be completely satisfied until we could say "it's been more than two months... more than three... " and we could leave epilepsy behind. But, he had a seizure yesterday (sunday). I was making lunch and he took the girls to a park nearby. Almost one hour later my cell phone rang. It was him except the voice on the end was not him, it was a woman. "Hello, you don't know me but we're here at the park and..." I didn't let her finish: "it's my husband? He had a seizure?". "Yes, but he's ok now, he's sleeping, we called an ambulance and I'm with your daughters"... She sounded calm. So I rushed to the park. There were some people gathered around him, and my daughters were playing with other kids. Thank god they all helped us. We don' really know these people, but we usually meet at this park, so we've actually seen each other before. When his seizure was over they went through his pockets, found his cell phone and tried to find a number that read "home" or something similar. The funny thing is they first called a restaurant without knowing, because it was listed under "Grandma's" which is the name of the restaurant :-)
So the ambulance came, they didn't take him to the hospital because I said no (I know it's no use, they would just refer us to his epileptologist) and instead took him to what we call a CAP (Primary attention center would be the rough translation). He just lay on some kind of stretcher and waited to be fully recovered. The doctor checked his eyes, coordination and such and after a while he said we could leave. This process is just like suddenly turning the computer off if you know what I mean. His brain shuts down suddenly and then he has to recover all the programs on his "hard disk" and that's kind of slow and disquieting. He mumbles incoherent things and slowly remembers people, places and bits of information. But when the reality of what had happened struck him, he was on the verge of tears and I hate to see him like that. He felt he was almost making it... it would have been two months... but no... We'll go see his epileptologist today.
I called my sister and she took care of the girls, and took them to a fashion show. My mother sells bridal gowns and she had some of her dresses on this show. I took some pics in the afternoon...

I'm a crappy blogger. I think it's a curse that I decided to start a blog in ENGLISH. I chose this language because 90% of the blogs I visit are written in English and it also gave me a chance to practice. BUT everytime I write I feel so uncertain... Am I choosing the right words?? Are they spelled correctly? Grammar mistakes??? I don't want you to tell me my writing is ok, I'm just explaining how I feel. I'll try to post something everyday, see how it works... even if it's only a photo. It's almost been two months since hubby had a seizure. That makes me kind of anxious... I forgot the whole baptising idea. I honestly can't say I believe in God, even though that would be so comforting. I was reading the Bible but I'm still stuck in the Old Testament. So I feel it would be unfair to force/induce my daughters to believe when I actually have such contradictory feelings about religion.
Lately my work hasn't been so boring. I had to go hunting with some men to write a report, and it was kind of fun... and even better, I had a chance to interview Ma.r.ja.ne Sa.tr.a.pi (I'm writing it this way just in case someone at work googles for her name and finds my silly blog). She's an Iranian cartoonist, living in France, and comes from a very liberal family. She's straightforward, looks you in the eye and can be quite intimidating. I have the feeling she says exactly what she wants and hates political correctness. I actually have her first books and it was really interesting...
Tonight we're going to a party hosted by our company... But we're like Cinderella, we'll be back home around midnight!!! (hubby is not supposed to stay up so late...)

Medieval Helpdesk...

This is too funny, you have to see it.... It's in danish with English subtitles...

Me?

Cristina speaks with a lisp. That's kind of cute. Now, everytime we walk pass a particular public advertising on the street she asks the same question: "Iz that you, mom?"

She's not old enough to be sarcastic.

"Yes, sweetheart, that's me" (should I laugh or cry??)

I'm not crazy

The psychiatrist I saw yesterday decided I'm not crazy (yet :-)) But thinks some added chemical in my life for some time, would help. So she prescribed pills. Apparently they're mild. She also wants me to talk to a psychologist too, once every two weeks or so... to my surprise, there are psychologists working in Social Security, so I won't have to pay at all, which is a big pleasant surprise because psychologists tend to be expensive. I found out some more about our mystery doctor. It seems like he's an osteopath, I talked to a couple of physicians who know him and spoke wonders of him. So it seems hubby is in good hands even if Dr Mystery is not a physician. Hubby's epileptologist said osteopathic treatment has proved effective in many cases, even though it has not been fully documented... so he told us that it's quite alright to continue seeing Dr Mystery, as long as it's a complementary thing. That does not mean he gives up on trying to find the right medication. He said for some patients it might take some time before we find the right drug...

Boring/Busy/low

Just a quick update.
Friday was family day. We all went for a family lunch along with my in-laws and other relatives on hubby's side. We were about 40 people, and I know only some of them. Somehow, I couldn't get in the "friendly-family occasions" mode, so to me the whole experience was quite boring.
Saturday was also a family day. We had our routine lunch at hubby's parents. Again, more family, and failed to set myself into "family friendly mode". Before lunch, I decided to go for a cup of coffee near our place. Alone. I don't do this quite often because I don't feel comfortable leaving the girls with hubby alone. What if he had a seizure? The five year old one could be taught to call me, but I'm not sure I should "train" her. Is a 5 year old too young to take that responsibility? Anyway, while I was reading a newspaper and sipping coffee, I decided to call H. I do that when I know he's alone. I need to know he's fine. He didn't pick up the phone. I called again. No answer. So I paid my unfinished coffee and rushed home. I arrived panting and quite scared. To find him shaving. "What, you're here alredy?" He said. "Why didn't you pick up the phone??!" I was angry and relieved at the same time. "It didn't ring", he said, defensively. We checked, and his cell phone was on "silence" mode... I need to learn not to freak out. To take things calmly. I know what I'm supposed to do if he has a seizure:
1-Stay calm
2-Prevent him from injury
3-Turn him on his left side.
4-Wait till it's over.
Somehow, I fail on number 1. Not that I scream or anything, but I have this rush of adrenaline... I get really scared. Tomorrow I'm going to see a psychiatrist! I'm not crazy (I think) but since I told my doctor I didn't want to take antidepressants so fast (I'd rather try to deal with this some other way), he referred me to a psychiatrist, to let him/her decide if I need pills or just some talking therapy... Finally, sunday was also family day, this time my folks. I didn't feel happy either.... Too many relatives for three days...

Strange...

Yesterday afternoon I walked into the kitchen and started hearing this strange noise. I thought it was an insect (a cricket??) and tried to locate the source. It led me to the pantry, in a shelf where we keep our medicines. I started pulling out boxes, the noise was coming from a box of suppositories. It was indeed strange, I opened the box, and carefully dropped the contents. I found this device inside:


I have no idea what it is and where it came from. Nor does H or the girls. Strange indeed.

Fashion dinner

I give up on Office Space. Instead, I give you a clip of my daughters, which is not the same, certainly, but at least there are no copyright issues with this one! I love the way Cristina laughs...

He had another seizure on monday. He was having lunch with some co-workers, who know he's epileptic. That was good because they knew what to do, he recovered quite fast even though the nurses in the ambulance insisted on taking him to the hospital to check, because he had hit his head (nothing bad, but they wanted to be sure). Apparently, he forgot to take his morning pill, so that might be the cause of this seizure, but I guess we'll never know for sure. There seems to be a pattern, since he has a seizure every two months (a bit less). Yesterday he went to that mystery French "doctor" along with his father (I stayed with the girls). This time, they "only" had to wait for three hours... Hubby seems to believe that Dr Mystery can be of help, so he'll be going again in late november and this time I'll be going with him. My investigation about Dr Mystery hasn't made any progress. But I'll try again. I need to know more about him.
In other news, I talked to my insensitive co-worker. She seemed to have forgotten the words she used, but admits she was mad at me. She says I've been acting strange, pushing friends away, and kind of pretending everything's ok. Anyway, two of my closest co-workers felt I was just putting some distance... and they were hurt. For some time, I just didn't feel like explaining anything. So I guess I was kind of withdrawn. Just like when my brother asked me if I was ok and I said YES. Just to shut him up.
That was long and boring, I guess. I'll leave you with some pics of our sunday picnic...





Cristina was scared of this bridge, and as you can see, she clings to her big sister...

I don't like posting pictures of me, but it's only fair, since I post pics of everyone else in my family! The three of us had our hair cut short...

Office Space: Meeting With the Bobs

Sorry, the previous clip was no longer available, as James pointed out. I found almost the same one also on You Tube...

My movies: Office Space

Ok, I don't think Office Space will be among the best films in history, but I sure had a great time watching it. Not that I can relate to this tiny bit, noooo.... ;-)

1-I've been either too busy or too lazy to blog. I'm still busy AND lazy, but here comes my latest nonsense.
People in this part of the world are debating weather it's permissible to burn the picture of our king in public. Well, not exactly debating... it all started in a peaceful demonstration of a bunch of students where I live. To show their opposition to our country having a king, they burned a big picture of him. The most conservative people in Spain were instantly outraged. Actually, it's illegal to burn the pics of king and/or his family, which I think is kind of stupid, but... Anyway, one of the students was identified, arrested and later released but the case is not closed. He'll probably have to pay a huge fine or even go to prison, who knows. BUT that sparked some more people to burn more pics king and queen. Young and old, people gathered at a popular spot in our hometown to burn the pictures chanting phrases against our country having monarchs. But it's illegal. Just like burning the Spanish flag. Not the Catalan flag, or the Andalusian one, that can be burned without facing prison. Isn't that kind of contradictory? Where I live, many people just feel they don't belong to Spain. In other parts of Spain, actually they feel we (Catalans) don't belong to Spain, and call us funny names. They say we're "polish" (from Poland) probably because it's the farthest people they could think of. Sometimes I think it would be best to just delete history. Wouldn't people get along better without a nasty past?
2-I was talking to a friend of mine who complains her boyfriend doesn't talk much. She needs to talk, and express her feelings, he doesn't. Is that a common male trait?? Do we, women, need more talking than men?... I think so. And some men just have this habit of NOT giving a hint of how they feel. Trying to make small talk with my husband, just to give you an example, can be exhausting sometimes.
His idea of chatting is talking about the huge hole they found in Mars. Which happens to be the size of a football/soccer field (according to him, which gives him the excuse to talk about his favorite sport).
3-We stayed at my mother's home last night and she read my girls a bedtime story. And she was horrified. She started with Hansel and Gretel, which is cruel and scary. So she moved to Snow White, which is not much better, and kept trying to find a "nice" one, where parents don't abandon children in forests, or eat children, or wash clothes in the river (which is absolutely strange to them), or just without wicked stepmothers or envious sisters, but couldn't find one among the classics. The Pied Piper of Hamelin, Blue Beard, all those stories, apparently, were first told to adults, in times of famine and disease, but somehow, they were passed to children...
4-So much talking about food at James' place has compelled me to post a picture of our dinner last night:
sardines with olive oil, Modena vinegar and bread with tomato spread...

PD: Feel free to print my post and burn it if you like, I won't be offended. ;-)

My husband swears he never puts any clothes WITH plastic in the drying machine...



The evidence, your honor.... (a bib)
Do you think I'd get a divorce? ;-)

PD: Cristina is having tantrum after tantrum. And not the Gandhi ones, more like... what Bush's tantrums might look like (although I hate the comparisson). Is this because school starts tomorrow???? I could always offer a deal in my divorce case: he gets Cristina, I get Alicia ;-)
he he...

My brother is a photographer. He was taking pictures of a newly wed couple and as the three of them were walking, they found this:

He told me the bride didn't run away ;-)

We had a good, busy weekend. Instead of following our usual routine (hubby's parents on saturday, my parents on sunday) we went to a small town in the mountains, played by the river... and the next day spent the morning in this tiny tiny place by the sea. There's no more than ten houses, I think... About our first visit, Alicia's concept of borders is quite unclear, because she said she prefers "this country" to our place...

I had the most unpleasant exchange with a co-worker and I still feel hurt. I thought I might just explain about our recent visit to Dr Mystery, since I had taken a day off work (I had told my boss in advance, he was most understanding and told us to do whatever we had to, not to worry). I had sent her a short text message when we arrived saying "we got home so late, we were supposed to see him at 5 but had to wait till midnight!, see you tomorrow". So I approached her this morning and started: "Our visit with the French doctor was quite an adventure..." And before I could go on she just blurted out, with a look of both contempt and anger: "Oh come on that's quackery, no physician would take a patient at midnight"... I was so surprised I just stared at her, so she continued: "you said you were going to visit a doctor, that can't be a doctor, come on..." in the most insensitive manner. She may have a point, it does sound strange, and to be honest, I don't know if he's a physician. But when you're trying to find a way out... you tend to cling to the smallest hope. And I thought it was just so cruel of her to speak like that. I didn't finish explaining. But she went on: "well, what did he say?? didn't you just come to explain?? What's going on, first you come and looks like you want to tell me and then you just stare at me... honestly Nuri, sometimes I just don't understand you..." I mumbled "I'm sorry, forget it", and left.

A scam?

We went to see the "alternative" doctor, the one my inlaws were so secretive about. We had to drive almost three hours north, into France. The sign on the door just reads "Daniel F. Kinesthesiterapie". We went up some stairs and into a small, square, poorly furnished waiting room, with just the lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, eight plastic white chairs and a rectangular wooden table loaded with magazines. A toilet, a carpeted corridor with people waiting on the floor (the ones who weren't lucky enough to get a chair). Our first impression wasn't so good. This man (Dr Mystery) needs a diary, that's what I first thought but "oh, no, he just doesn't work this way", a woman in the waiting room said. No secretary, nothing. Apparently we were to wait until Dr Mystery comes out of his mysterious office, glances around and predicts how long it will take for us to be called in. He did, he looked at the friend who had brought us there (you know there's always a friend of a friend who knows that doctor that blah blah blah) and first said "no, not today, it's impossible". She didn't complain, she just looked at us and said, don't worry, he'll see us. He came out again one hour later and told us to come back in two hours. Great. Our friend said that means four hours. Even greater. That seems to be part of the mystique of this man. Apparently he had talked to our friend on the phone and told her he would see us at 5pm. But that seems to be one of his traits. You can't be sure when he'll see you. Not to mention, I still don't know if he's a doctor! So we went for a walk, came back, found some empty chairs, read, slept, talked, joked... the whole thing reminded me of a scene in Matrix, when they go to see the oracle. It looked like we were waiting for a wizard to come out and perform his miraculous cure. It was past midnight when we went into his office. He studied all the papers we gave him (CT, MRI, blood tests, everything) and he said something about hubby having too much cerebrospinal fluid. "How come his neurologist didn't say that?" I asked. "Because he didn't look for that, neurologist just look for tumors when they're trying to find causes for seizures, if there's no tumor, they don't go further", he said. ??? Well, he seems confident that he can help him control his seizures but he told us not to quit his medication, too. So we'll see. If this is a scam, it's not that good, because he doesn't charge enough. His fee is ridiculous (35 euros). His therapy is mostly cranial work (massage type). We arrived home at 5am. Somehow, we're hopeful, but also guarded. We'll go see him again in a month, but he told us to call him if hubby has another seizure... I hope NOT! I'm feeling better, I went to the doctor and he prescribed some antidepressant called "venlafaxine" but I haven't taken it. I'd rather find another route, like someone to talk to... but that's not included in our social security system. Psychiatrists are included, but not psychologists. So I can go for the cheap/chemical route (venlafaxine) or pay for a psychologist to listen to me! (the expensive/natural route.